New Years

It's New Years again and time to look back and see how things went. The first seven or eight months seemed to go pretty well for my practice. I stuck to the meditation everyday... Then I think I got cocky.

The meditation seemed to be going well and it didn't seem too difficult to keep up with. So then I got lax and became lazy.

Once the chain was broken things seemed pretty hard to get back on track.

A few months ago I started integrating loving-kindness practice (lkp) to my daily sitting. I had a few rough weeks and then started putting the pieces together that it had to do with my lkp practice. I started out focusing on myself being the recipient of the lkp because in the past I've often focused on lk for everyone else except me. I generating love for myself stirred up some unresolved feelings.

I've been dealing with the fallout from that for quite a while. It's been making it hard for me to practice lately. Huge amounts of aversion have overtaken me and kept me off the cushion. There are things lurking in the corners that I know I'll need to deal with sooner or later.

That's probably a huge series of posts that I can delve into later.

So what's in store for my practice this year? Well I'm renewing my intention to sit every day. I'm bringing a little more structure into it this year.

I'm working with the Satipatthana Sutta, which are the very detailed instructions on Vipassana meditation. It consists of four main parts with several variations within each. Mindfulness of the Body, Mindfulness of Feeling Tone, Mindfulness of Mind and Mindfulness of Dhammas. I'm dividing up the year to focus on specific instructions within the sutta.

I think this will help me sustain the practice throughout the year because I'll have specific things to work on at specific times. It'll be easier to pick up if things get off the rails.

I'll be trying to keep up with this as well too, because posting here seemed to hold me accountable and created a positive feedback loop.

May all beings be free of suffering in the new year!